A Bit Overwhelmed And Blessing of the Week

My title might seem a little contraindicated, but I'll try to explain.
So yesterday I awoke and for the first time had a mini freak out about the fact we are having a baby...like as in an actual child. I'm not sure if it was the busy and frustrating day on Tuesday or if it was finding out that we are definately having a girl or what. I expected to just be glowing but instead I just feel a little out of sorts. I think maybe it's starting to become more real that from now on our lives will never be the same. From here on out, we will always be parents...always...and to an actual person. There is also the fact that even though logically I know that I'm pregnant it sometimes doesn't feel like it, despite my preoccupation with it. I'm still not showing (still wearing the same jeans) and I may or may not have felt the baby move yet (hard to tell still). I mean, I know that we planned to get pregnant and logically I knew what would happen if I did but still. Conversely I'm not worried (yet) about being a good mom. Isn't that strange? I think it's because I know that I'll work hard at it and that I really want to be an awesome mom and somehow I think the fact that I care so much has to mean something.
I had an old friend from college, Rachel McCauley Wylie, share the quote today with me "Becoming a mother is deciding to have your heart go forever walking around outside your body." I'd heard that quote before but suddenly it really hit me. I think I'm realizing how scary it is to already have so much love and emotion invested in someone I haven't even met yet! And the thought of how much more I will love her...well, no wonder it's overwhelming! I feel better now having figured out a little of WHY it is so overwhelming at times.
On a side note, I'm so thankful for facebook right now. I've found amazing support from people I never would have been in touch with otherwise. Definately my blessing of the week!


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