Grati-Friday and the Craziest Week of My Life (So Far)
Okay, so I missed Gratituesday and I know I asked to be kept accountable so I appreciate that nobody has given me a hard time. Besides, it's hard to think of a better excuse than my water breaking, having a c-section, and being in the hospital! I'm not even sure how to describe all the things and feelings of the last week. It's probably been the hardest and yet most blessed week of my life. I'm slowly starting to feel more connected to Olivia but I'm not sure she really feels "mine" yet. A lot of what has happened still feels unreal. I'll try to go day by day since my last post - I have a feeling that writing this all out will help me sort it in my mind too.
Friday was a long day. My c-section was pushed back to 3:00 and the waiting was difficult. I was trying to be calm, but it was hard not to be really tense. I've never really had a surgery, never broken a bone, etc. When they finally came to get me I was ready just to get the whole thing over with. The spinal was a little hard to sit still for but once it was in they moved really quickly. It took about 8 minutes until Olivia was born and not too much longer before they had finished stitching me up. It was a really strange experience since I was completely aware the whole time. I was worried that they lied when they said it didn't hurt, but it really didn't. I did feel A LOT of tugging and pulling but no pain (that came later). They took Olivia to the NICU straight away and Glenn went along. After 30-40 minutes in recovery I got to see Olivia for a couple of minutes. The rest of the day is a blur of waking up to nurses and then falling back asleep.
Saturday when I woke up my first thought was, "People ELECT to have c-sections to avoid the pain of childbirth?! What is wrong with them?!?!" I definitely was in pain. It wasn't so much the incision as my stomach muscles. They were sore from being pulled and stretched so much. That day the thought of being well enough to leave the hospital in a few days was absurd. I figured there was no way I was leaving for at least a week, if not two! I got to see Olivia briefly a couple of times. I was just so tired. Glenn was absolutely amazing the whole time and made sure I was as comfortable as I could be.
I was surprised to wake up Sunday feeling significantly better. Still sore and tired, but I thought maybe there was a chance I could leave on Tuesday. I got to hold Olivia and things seemed to be going well. Then they took me off the IV. I must have dehydrated quickly because I ended up having a terrible headache that was probably from the spinal. They had me drinking tons and tons of water and pop and laying flat. It really helped but I wasn't up for much after that.
Monday is kind of a blur. I still had a little bit of a headache but it was probably due to stress and hormones. I started having a bad reaction to the pain meds so I asked to be taken off of the Percoset. It was making me nauseous and I was having whole body twitches. Not fun.
Tuesday was a really rough day. I was released from the hospital and it was also the worst day of hormones so far. I just wasn't sure if I could handle everything. The plan was for me to stay with my aunt and uncle in Lincoln. They were so awesome to open up their home and even give me their bedroom! I made it one night and then decided that I really needed to be home. I think it was just too many different things to deal with at once. I had just gotten used to being in the hospital. I was not going to see Glenn for days. I just could not relax and I was so overwhelmed. It was hard to decide to come back home when I knew I would probably not see Olivia every day, but it was the right decision. I feel so much more rested being home and I've had lots of offers to bring me into Lincoln until I can drive myself again. I know that I need to give myself a chance to heal too so that I can take care of Olivia when she is able to come home. Lindsey thought she was just coming to Lincoln for a visit and ended up moving me home. What an awesome sister-in-law I have!
Yesterday Glenn's sister Michele drove me to Lincoln so I could visit and she could meet her new niece. Glenn's mom's middle name is Michele and she named Glenn's sister after her so for us it was special to be able to name our little girl after them both. Michele took lots of pictures and it was so nice to be able to introduce another family member.
I was pretty sore after two days riding that far in the car so I'm probably going to stay home today. Tomorrow Glenn and I will both go into Lincoln and we will be able to spend some good time with her.
So on to what I'm grateful for!
An update on how Olivia is doing:
She has lost and regained weight and is back up above her birth weight.
She was doing so well feeding with a bottle yesterday that they decided to take out the feeding tube. The nurse was shocked when she finished her bottle for the third feeding in a row while I was there yesterday. Normally they are too tired to do so many in a row when they first start in bottle feeding.
They took out her IV.
I found out that this morning they moved her into a crib instead of the heating bed, so I think this means she is doing pretty well maintaining her body temperature.
I'm also grateful that I seem to be healing well and recovering fairly quickly. I am so grateful for all of the people who have visited, called, brought gifts and food, driven me here and there, prayed, and just cared about us. It's still going to be a long road until I am completely recovered and Olivia comes home but I feel like now I can actually make it without losing my mind.