30 Weeks and Some Good Advice
Today I am 30 weeks along - only three weeks away from when I gave birth to Olivia. I have to admit that I'm becoming a bit more anxious as we get closer. I would dearly love to make it to May, but other than what we have been doing it's not really up to me!
I'm also getting more anxious about the c-section, trying to BF again, etc. So many people have such strong convictions one way or another about all the decisions that happen regarding a baby's birth and first few weeks of life. All of the guilt and anxiety and stress over single decision did nothing to help me be a better mom and if you've read my story with postpardum depression you know that eventually it nearly disabled my ability to parent altogether.
A wise woman at my church gave me some very good advice to help me have perspective regarding all of it. She said, "Look around sometime at the adults around you. You can't tell who was born at home or whose mom had an epidural or a c-section. You can't tell who was BF for a month, a year, 2+ years, or never at all. Do what you need to do to survive and just make the best decisions you can based on your situation and your baby will be just fine."
How I needed to hear those words then and how I need to remind myself of them now. Pretty much all of the grand plans I had for Olivia went out the window once my water broke at 33 weeks and we found out she was breech, along with the NICU stay. But I look at her now and she is just so...normal. Healthy, happy, smart, funny, growing, learning, asserting her independence, everything a two-year-old should be - regardless of the fact that nothing went according to my plan.
My gift to this baby is to let go of the guilt and anxiety to the best of my ability. To make the best decisions I can for our particular circumstances. To get help when I need it and not to wait thinking it will just get better or that I'm somehow undeserving. To do my best not only to survive as a mother of two but to thrive!
I'm also getting more anxious about the c-section, trying to BF again, etc. So many people have such strong convictions one way or another about all the decisions that happen regarding a baby's birth and first few weeks of life. All of the guilt and anxiety and stress over single decision did nothing to help me be a better mom and if you've read my story with postpardum depression you know that eventually it nearly disabled my ability to parent altogether.
A wise woman at my church gave me some very good advice to help me have perspective regarding all of it. She said, "Look around sometime at the adults around you. You can't tell who was born at home or whose mom had an epidural or a c-section. You can't tell who was BF for a month, a year, 2+ years, or never at all. Do what you need to do to survive and just make the best decisions you can based on your situation and your baby will be just fine."
How I needed to hear those words then and how I need to remind myself of them now. Pretty much all of the grand plans I had for Olivia went out the window once my water broke at 33 weeks and we found out she was breech, along with the NICU stay. But I look at her now and she is just so...normal. Healthy, happy, smart, funny, growing, learning, asserting her independence, everything a two-year-old should be - regardless of the fact that nothing went according to my plan.
My gift to this baby is to let go of the guilt and anxiety to the best of my ability. To make the best decisions I can for our particular circumstances. To get help when I need it and not to wait thinking it will just get better or that I'm somehow undeserving. To do my best not only to survive as a mother of two but to thrive!
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Take care!!!